


I'd Like to Believe

by deathlydauntless



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Cuties, F/M, Fluff, Natasha is confused, a little bit of angst, steve is flustered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 07:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6365038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathlydauntless/pseuds/deathlydauntless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Natasha figures out her feelings for Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is my first ever fic and I'm glad it happened to be Romanogers. Steve x Natasha is taking over my life. Comments + suggestions would be much much much appreciated since it's my first.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this wonderful pairing as much as I do :)
> 
> Special thanks to thegraytigress for inspiring me to write. You da best.

 

_“I come up hard, baby, but that’s okay...”_

_“Cause trouble man, don’t get in my way”_

The quiet tones of Marvin Gaye drifted through the sunlit hospital room and into Natasha’s ears. She was barely listening, though; instead focused on the wearisome debriefing report in her hands. As soon as she’d gotten out of the Senate, Maria had sent her the report and asked her to look over it. Natasha saw no point in doing so, seeing as S.H.I.E.L.D was gone and Fury was soon leaving for god-knows-where, hunting down the last of Hydra. But she was reading it anyway, if only for the reason of making everything seem normal.

Of course, nothing was normal. She and Maria both knew it. S.H.I.E.L.D had been Natasha’s only real home; her escape from the dark life she’d led as part of the Red Room. Fury had taken her in, forgiving her for what she’d done and urging her to start making things right. Wiping out the red in her ledger. All of that was gone, and as strong as she was, she couldn’t help but feel an itch of shock and confusion.

The blankets in the bed beside her shifted and her head snapped to the side. _Steve_ … she couldn’t begin to imagine what he was feeling. Bucky had been so close; had almost recognized him. It was like losing his best friend _twice_. And Natasha felt something close to pity for the Winter Soldier because he hadn’t been acting of his own accord. Some part of her mind remembered, against her will, her training in the Red Room. She remembered James. But it was hard to feel sorry for someone who’d shot her twice without hesitation.

And Steve- Natasha didn’t understand how she felt about Steve. The friendship they had, so new and fragile and built on a shaky foundation of trust, was so unlike anything she’d ever had with anyone else that she was almost afraid of going forward. It just wasn’t what she did. After a life filled with lies and deception, she wasn’t sure she could give him the friendship he needed.

Or whatever it was that he needed.

Natasha wasn’t one for sentiment, but she was also not stupid. Before the battle over the Potomac, she could see a hint of something else in Steve’s eyes when he smiled at her; hear the slight dip in his voice when he talked to her. If they hadn’t been so caught up in the events of the past few weeks, she was pretty sure she would have caught him checking her out once or twice.

Did she mind?

Hell no.

Natasha couldn’t deny her own feelings. She enjoyed Rogers’ company for multiple reasons- he was brave and noble, he had a sense of humor, and he was really, really easy on the eyes. And- she couldn’t believe herself- but she was feeling the beginnings of a stupid little crush. Butterflies in her stomach every time he laughed. A blush that threatened to spread over her cheeks whenever she thought about him. Heat that went straight to her core when he looked at her with that something else in his gaze. The dark part of her mind reminded her of the words that had once come out of her own mouth- _love is for children_.

Well, she’d be damned.

Fortunately, Natasha wasn’t a trained assassin and spy for nothing. She planned to find out exactly what he wanted, exactly what _she_ wanted, and go for it like a predator going in for the kill.

_I’m Black Widow_ , she thought, grinning for the first time in days and leaning back in her chair.

“What’re you so happy about?”

The words were half whispered, half mumbled by Steve’s tired voice. “Nothing,” she muttered. The report slipped off of her lap and onto the floor as she started out of her seat. Feeling the beginnings of the flush creeping its way up her neck, she picked up the report and set it on the small bedside table, then turned to him. “Feeling alright, Rogers?”

Steve gave a half-hearted attempt at a grin. The serum in his veins had been doing its job remarkably well, and nearly all his bruises and cuts were healed. Obviously, with the serum working overtime, he was tired. And probably hungry. She glanced at the bland hospital food they’d dropped off while he was asleep and met his gaze.

“Are… you thinking the same thing I’m thinking?”

Steve tried to sit up, and before she could stop herself, Natasha was at his side, helping him. Once he was upright, he grimaced. “Yeah. There’s no way in hell I’m eating that food.”

Natasha smirked. “Unfortunately, old man, you’re on strict bed rest. Director’s orders.”

“Don’t call me old. I’m only 95.”

His words jolted her out of her content stupor. Steve, being ever perceptive, asked, “What is it?”

She rose and picked up the other item that had been delivered while he was asleep. “They brought you this.”

She held it out to him, and Steve’s breath caught. Mouth slightly open and eyes blown wide, he lightly ran his fingers over the polished red, blue and silver bands of his most trusted weapon.

His shield.

Natasha, even with her refined ability to read people, couldn’t catch all of the emotions that played across his face in a matter of seconds. The guilt of losing Barnes- not once, but twice. The pain of his best friend turning against him. His shield, the symbol of protection and bravery, was also reminding him of his nightmares. She immediately felt guilty for putting his mind back in the situation from which he was still recovering. “I, uh, just thought you’d wanted to see- you know, since you dropped it-“

“Thank you,” he whispered, voice shaking, and Natasha wanted to mentally destroy herself for making him feel this way. She took the shield from him and set it against the wall, then came back and took his hand. His gaze never left hers.

They sat in silence for a long time, while Steve gathered himself and Natasha thought about what to say. She wasn’t one for comforting others, and she didn’t know if she could- but for his sake, she wanted to try.

“He knew you.”

Her voice cut through the still air, sharper than she’d intended. She was really bad at this.

Steve gave a short nod. “He- remembered. Towards the end, I think… it came back to him. Some parts.”

Natasha steeled herself to say what she knew had to be said. “You couldn’t have saved him from himself, Steve. That man you knew from Brooklyn- he’s gone.”

A strange, oddly determined look crossed Steve’s features. “Not entirely.”

She bit back a retort- if that was what made him feel better, then he could think it all he wanted. She had her own plethora of problems to worry about.

After another eternity of silence, he asked, “What about you? Are you okay?”

No matter how much she wanted to lie to him, to put up her masks when he got too close- she couldn’t. He’d become a part of her that she’d refused to acknowledge for so long until S.H.I.E.L.D had fallen and they’d had no choice but to trust each other. So, against her own conditioning and her own willpower, she let him in.

Steve looked worried. “Not really.”

He nodded. “I know. But we’ll be okay. We’ve still got each other.”

He spoke as if it were simple, honest fact, and each of his words was like a sedative to her troubled mind. Natasha looked into his bright blue eyes; saw the guilt and pain and haze under the promises he was making to her. But her fingers squeezed his, and for a wonderful moment- she believed him.


	2. Chapter 2

 

In a matter of days, they were fully integrated into each other’s lives. Natasha would come to his apartment with a backpack full of movies, and Steve would take her to a different place every day for dinner. The enormity of what happened was still there, but they’d both pushed it to the back of their minds and tried to move on with life. She was much more adept at this than he was, and she often noticed him slip into brooding thoughts when he thought she wasn’t looking. Nevertheless, they spent nearly every day and every evening together.

It was on one of these such nights that he broke the news. They were sitting on his couch, some distance away from each other, but her legs were on his lap and he was idly massaging her calves. (Natasha was trying incredibly hard not to show how much she liked that.)  _ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix _ was on the TV (she wasn’t much of a fan of magic and fantasy and children’s stories, but she figured he should watch the series if he wanted to “get in” with pop culture). 

“I’m going after him.”

She didn’t process it at first, still chewing on a slice of cold-ish pizza and enjoying his soothing hands on her legs. “Hmm?”

He paused. “You know, Bucky. I’m going after him.”

Natasha’s blood ran cold. The pizza in her mouth lost its taste and she withdrew her legs. “Why?”

He looked slightly afraid. “I just- he’s my friend, Nat! I can’t just forget about him- and he remembers, I know he does-“

“What about me?” she demanded. The peaceful atmosphere was gone, the tension between them palpable. Natasha hated herself for getting so attached.  _ This is what happens, Natalia.  _ “What about me, Rogers? It’s okay to leave me here and go off on some crazy adventure to find your equally crazy assassin friend, while I deal with the shitstorm of S.H.I.E.L.D collapsing and trying to find new covers for myself so I don’t-“

“I was going to tell you something,” he insisted, his voice getting louder than hers, “but I know you wouldn’t have-“

She got the feeling there was something else he was hiding. “Tell me  _ what _ , Rogers?”

Steve looked really flustered. “How- how I felt. About y- about us.”

Natasha froze. “Wait, what?”

He was getting more and more nervous. “I know you’re not into the whole relationship thing, but I’ve just been feeling- things- for a while and I thought it wasn’t a good time, with everything that was going on-“

She didn’t bother to hide the smile that was slowly spreading across her face. “You’re running away from me?”

Steve wrung his hands, looking terrified. “No, I-  _ why are you laughing _ ?”

For she was giggling as she lay back in the couch, color returning to her skin.  _ He wants me _ . It was like someone else’s feelings she was experiencing.  _ He wants me! _

She set her food down and brushed crumbs off her hands, then sauntered to where he was sitting, a sultry look in her eyes. Steve was at a loss for words. This was in her territory again- using her beauty and her powerful words to enslave men to her will. 

But Natasha knew Steve was new to this, that they were both treading choppy waters, and she didn’t want to damage their friendship. So she took it slow, sitting right up against him and tilting his face towards hers. She looked right into his blue eyes, feeling affection kindling within her, and pressed her lips to his. 

When they pulled apart, hours or days or years later (she couldn’t tell), he whispered, “I can’t believe that just happened.” 

Natasha laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet. “Get used to it.” She winked at him and turned away, but he pulled her back.

She’d always appreciated how tall and handsome he was from afar, but this was different. Steve grinned at her dopily for a second before he gathered her into a hug. She felt so warm and fuzzy and safe. “Thank you,” he murmured, and he didn’t mention for what, but he didn’t need to.

“Go get him.”

He looked at her, confusion in his eyes. “Barnes,” she elaborated. “Go find Barnes. I’ll be waiting.”

“Really?”

She smiled. “Yes, really. Go get him back. You need it. We’ll keep in touch. I’ll be waiting.”

Steve lifted her up without warning, and she squealed in girlish pleasure as he spun her around. Then he pressed her to him again. “Are we okay?” he whispered, into her hair.

Natasha clutched him for all she was worth. She’d be able to do anything, she thought, if he was there with her. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

And they were. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for reading through! Based on the awesome comments I've received, I'll be sure to post more stories soon.


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